discipline- smishipline

true discipline is hard to come by. you can make it for a little while as long as you're feeling motivated. but what happens to your level of discipline when your motivation begins to fade? when your goal that was so important a few weeks ago doesn't seem as important any more?

for example, i decided about a month ago that i was going to run a half marathon this summer and a full marathon in december, which might be a totally unrealistic goal for me, but i'm shooting for the moon. at the time, i was running once or twice a week, practicing yoga twice a week and doing some cycling. my goal was to focus more on running. so i found the marathon dates i wanted and set my intentions to begin training. every time i ran, i was excited, pushing my times to get better. so for about 3 weeks i was running 4-5 times a week. then i rode my bike 1oo miles with my friends one saturday and then took a few days off from running. then a few more days. now here i am, lacking motivation to get back to training. it's crazy how mental the whole thing is. when i'm running, i think- this is easy, always do this. and then when i'm not running, it sounds so un-fun to go running. what if we could somehow bottle up the motivation we feel when we're "in the zone" and take a little swig when we're not feeling it. i have yet to figure out how to bottle it up, but i've been thinking a lot about the things that make motivation begin to take a nose-dive. if we can catch it before it starts, maybe we can figure out to stay in the zone longer. so here are 3 things that i think get in the way of staying disciplined.

1. too much relaxation. as americans, we have this entitlement complex going on. we work hard for 5 days and then tell ourselves we deserve to sit on our butts and watch all our saved up dvr'd shows all day. i work a long, busy week. by friday, i want down time. but if i give myself too much mindless relaxation, i find it harder to come out of it and get back in the zone. i've decided to start scheduling my weekends too. give yourself a couple hours of complete self-indulgent down time. no working, thinking or anything motivated in any way by guilt. then get to it. work on personal goals, your life, things you want to make better. bear grylls tweeted yesterday "it is observed that successful people get ahead in the time that other people waste." so be careful how much time you waste. and for the record, tv watching is always a waste of time. i know lost is winding down to the finale, but don't trick yourself in to thinking that you have to watch tv. it's a time-sucker. willy wonka was right, it'll turn your brain to mush.

2. trying to be perfect. i know some people that have a crazy schedule, they go grocery shopping at 5am, workout and have quiet time all before their kids get up. that's great for them. however, that's not realistic for me. and you have to be honest if that's not you either. i can handle a rigorous work-out schedule, 12 hours days at work, perfect eating habits and a perfectly clean house for about 7 days. then i go into relapse and veg out watching felicity and eating chocolate for a few days. i haven't gotten to where i can be perfect over time. but i have found that if i give myself allowances every day, i can maintain discipline much longer. i allow myself to take a longer lunch, maybe skip a work out day or take it easy when i feel like it or eat dessert. after 7 days, i don't feel like i've deprived myself and have exerted all my self-discipline. mark brewer (myfitlife.tv) will tell you, self-discipline is an exhaustible resource. so don't put yourself in situations where you'll have to use it all. surround yourself with positive influences.

3. trying to conjure self-discipline. you can't snap your fingers and make yourself do what is best for you while putting aside what you really want. what you can do is be aware. be aware that you are weak in some areas and know how you would like to grow. every time you fail in that area, don't beat yourself up. just take note of why you did that, how you felt and what you can do better next time. over time, you'll change. my running isn't going great because i've had too much relaxation and it feels terrible. what i've decided i need to do to get better is enlist some running buddies. i can't do this alone and it really helps to have those positive influences.

true discipline is not being perfect, it's being better overall.

A Big Promotion

I've decided that I'm not at my best when I sleep well. I've slept well for way too long now. Tonight I laid down to go to sleep and my mind was racing and I thought, yea! i'm getting back to being me. Justin and I were on a long road trip today and we talked a bunch about our dreams and it got me thinking... and now I can't stop. We ask ourselves some pretty big questions that we have yet to answer. One thing that I love about our generation is that we're not happy with just living, we want to LIVE WHAT MATTERS. I hear this echoed in the lives of so many of my friends, too. I can think of so many people that have made their stories count. I like this because it compels me to move too. Remember the shuttle run we had to do in PE class? They had you run along side someone else, pick up a block, run it back and do it again? I asked my teacher one time why we ran them with someone. She said "because it makes you run faster." I'm sure it was also to save time. But I'll bet a hundred bucks that if you ran that race without some running next to you, your time would be slower. This is something I love about community. The whole running together, pushing each other to do something better.

Sometimes, though, there's a glitch in this system when healthy competition turns in to self-promotion. Growing up in a house with older brothers, I've inherited a tendency towards competitiveness. This can be not good, obviously. But it can be awesome if I steer it in the right direction. Luckily, I also have a tendency to become fanatical about things I love that I believe can have benefit for others and promote it like crazy. I'm declaring now to be a promoter instead of a competitor. Well I still want to compete in stuff, but you know what I mean.

These people/org are worth checking out- they'll inspire you.

Anne Jackson- flowerdust.net

Don Miller- donmilleris.com

Bob Goff- bobgoff.com

Marijke Jane- marijkejane.wordpress.com

Venture Expeditions- ventureexpeditions.ning.com

check out the blogs of the adventurers/cyclists on their site

Beth & Brian Woods- brianandbethwoods.theworldrace.org

Time's always on my mind

Time’s really always on my mind. I’m either thinking about the past, the future or right now. Little things trigger that pang of nostalgia. Like watching White Christmas last night. I was watching the scene where Phil and Judy are dancing outside of the club to that song “The best things happen while you’re dancing…” and I remembered watching the movie as a little girl, sitting close to the tv. Thinking about how wonderful it would be to be an adult and to dance like that. Things that trigger me to remember what it felt like to be little girl and know that the world was ahead of me and that everything was ok. Mom and dad were taking care of me and there’s wasn’t a thing to worry about except who was going to pop more popcorn for the movie. Nostalgia is the wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time. The pain you feel along with nostalgia is the realization that you can never get those moments back. You can never go back to your family, your life that way, just like that, ever again. If I had known to snapshot every perfect moment in my mind and file it away forever, I would have. But I didn’t know enough about life yet. Know that grandparents won’t always be vibrant and goofy or even there. Know that someday fear will accompany you instead of reckless abandon. If only I had known, I would’ve soaked it all the way up. I wouldn’t have rushed to grow up and leave it all behind.
I think about my future a lot too. Knowing there will be plenty of joy and pain to come. It’s all part of the composition of life. Hoping that the joy will outweigh the pain. Hoping my love will always be right there in every moment, every adventure, every sunrise and sunset, every success and lesson. Longing to know that I will sit and rock in our rocking chairs on our porch in the mountains when we’re very old. There’s pain in that feeling too- a hopeful longing.
The only control I have in both of these feelings is in the present. I feel like I’ve learned my lesson from my past. Embrace every moment. When I hug Justin, I literally drink in the moment. There’s no place I’d rather be. When I go for a run, I take deep breaths and appreciate my youth. When I see my family, I tell them I love them. The only balm for nostalgia and longing is to be thankful for right now.

Be Still

As I walked down to the end of the dock tonight and sat down on the bench I was suddenly gripped with an overwhelming sense of silence and peace. In one moment, my mind went from the usual state of random questioning of God's ability to make my life complete and worth something to utter humility and trust that He alone is God. And that really the point is not that my life is worth anything but that I add to His story of redemption. Every question that I ask God, like will Justin and I both be around to grow old together? or why is it so difficult to watch your parents get old? is my mind's futile attempt at trying to control what happens in my life. Like if I anticipate it, maybe it won't hurt so much. God literally quieted my down tonight to whisper in my ear, "Be still and know... that I am God." Which really means to me that it's ok, I don't have to worry about all these things because he has it under control. When it is time for me to go through certain things in this life, he will be there and I will get through it.
Steadily, the clouds, sun and water were moving in the rhythms God set for them and frantically the bugs were flying around in front of me. I had one choice, to focus on the bugs in front of me (the things that worry me) or to focus on the majestic beauty happening behind those bugs in this beautiful sunset (the beauty and grace of God). I wish you could've beent here to experience this overwhelming sense of peace -in our world of constant movement it's hard to come by. I feel like He's reminded me of this before, but I always appreciate a refresher.

fall is here and so is all of 318!

fall in texas is interesting. you really, really hope for the cool, crisp weather that fall is known for. you dress in the mornings for a cool 55 degree day, light scarf, boots, and hot coffee. then by noon, you're windows are down while you're sipping an iced chai. that's ok. here's why- january, february, march and april. a wintery white december would be nice, but when the 4 months following Christmas come along and you're not scraping windows or blowing snow or freezing your butt off, it's totally worth it. besides, winter is what colorado is for. you just go once a year and drudge along in knee-deep snow with 20 degree weather and then you go back home.
if you do need a healthy dose of fall, you just go over to andrea and justin's where she has decorated the house with fall foliage and the scent of cinnamon and pumpkin waft from the kitchen as she's baking fresh pumpkin coffee cake. besides, texas is the place to be right now. welcome new 318 texans---[jake.carrie.annika]

you can't see annika, but her toys and boppy in the picture proves her presence.
happy fall to all!

it's official...

after 5 years working for the gat, i have taken a position at the church working soley for the cup. we open the second location at red oak next wednesday and then 2 more locations in mesquite and cedar hill this next year. my last day with the gat is the last day of the camping trip. it's crazy because i thought this day would never come. not like i wanted it to, but i just never thought this would happen. it was a much more difficult decision that i thought it would be too. the major decision here was life in business or life in ministry? i had been working towards business since i changed my major for the last time in college. and when i took the job working for the gathering 4 and 1/2 years ago, i thought i would be the admin that just took care of business. but over the last 5 years, i found that i really loved working with people too. i loved the people in the gat and the staff. i worked through my weaknesses as an admin, being that i'm not wired to be super organized or really be told what to do. lathro and paul both gave me so much respect and allowed me to lead in my strengths. they let me be an exec, if only just in our little world. i have gotten to work with some of the most amazing and interesting people. ultimately, this is a career opportunity that i can't pass up. but, dang it hurts. i will miss a million things about my job. but looking forward, i'm excited to develop my skills in business management. my dream is to one day open a restaurant that is all desserts, coffees and teas. it'll be in boulder and the entire patio will be giant stone fireplaces with comfy patio furntiture and warm hearths to sit on. you'll go there after dinner and hang out with friends for a couple hours, sip coffee and eat a yummy dessert. you'll all be invited for the grand opening. so i'm one step closer to my little dream.
i guess that means we're texas awhile longer too. which is great because it seems dear friends are moving here faster than i could ever hope. curt, dawn and jackson are moving to austin beginning of october. i'm excited for this because i love hanging out with them so much and they're going to live in a great city that i have a reason to visit more often now. carrie, jake and annika just moved here from california for a job and are living with us til they find a place. which i hope that takes a while because i had so much fun coming home last night to carrie and annika. we have a full house and i love it! add in bryson, our roommate, and that makes 6 people and 1 hyper puppy. to make our family almost complete down here, alishia's mom moved down last week. there's nothing more comforting than having a mom around, i wish mine could be here though. what is it about being married that just makes you want to be around family more? our 1 year anniversary is coming up quick and we're planning a trip to minnesota in november. i can't wait to see the fam and our friends and get some much needed down time. life has been crazy. gotta love it that way though.
justin and i are running a half marathon in december and training started this week. pray that i don't die.

easter

welcome to the world of the kee's. today we had a yummy easter meal with the white's. tim makes some mad potatoes! we have a lot to catch up on with wedding pictures, new house, new puppy... thanks for reading. much love!