Sunday, July 19, 2009
As I walked down to the end of the dock tonight and sat down on the bench I was suddenly gripped with an overwhelming sense of silence and peace. In one moment, my mind went from the usual state of random questioning of God's ability to make my life complete and worth something to utter humility and trust that He alone is God. And that really the point is not that my life is worth anything but that I add to His story of redemption. Every question that I ask God, like will Justin and I both be around to grow old together? or why is it so difficult to watch your parents get old? is my mind's futile attempt at trying to control what happens in my life. Like if I anticipate it, maybe it won't hurt so much. God literally quieted my down tonight to whisper in my ear, "Be still and know... that I am God." Which really means to me that it's ok, I don't have to worry about all these things because he has it under control. When it is time for me to go through certain things in this life, he will be there and I will get through it.
Steadily, the clouds, sun and water were moving in the rhythms God set for them and frantically the bugs were flying around in front of me. I had one choice, to focus on the bugs in front of me (the things that worry me) or to focus on the majestic beauty happening behind those bugs in this beautiful sunset (the beauty and grace of God). I wish you could've beent here to experience this overwhelming sense of peace -in our world of constant movement it's hard to come by. I feel like He's reminded me of this before, but I always appreciate a refresher.